Sh*t Just Got Real
By: Lauren Heaton, MS, ICCADC, CMHIMP, LPC
Almost 7 years ago as I was preparing to marry my husband, a friend of mine asked me “has shit gotten real yet?” At that moment in time, it still felt like a dream until the doors opened of the church. Then I turned to her and said, “shit just got REAL real.”
As we enter week 4 of the stay at home order in Pennsylvania I can say, I feel the exact same way I did 7 years ago, but for a much different reason. As a therapist and business owner I am faced with some very difficult decisions, and like the rest of the world, very uncertain of what is the next right move. However, these past few weeks have been an incredible opportunity to be able to do some real soul-searching.
We have a tendency as human beings when things don’t feel like they are going right in our life, or we feel like we have been wronged to point the finger in the opposite direction. I challenge you though to think about what would happen if you stopped for a moment and looked at yourself. What is your place in this situation or relationship? How can you make changes as an individual to be able to improve your level of peace and satisfaction in your own life?
As I work through this process for myself, I can honestly say, “shit got REAL real.” I recognized the immense amount of times in my life that my unhappiness; either verbally or internally voiced was solely my responsibility. I have the power to dictate how I choose to respond to situations, and which situations I choose to place myself in. I am the constant in my own life. This has given me a level of sadness in relationships that I blamed others for my sorrow when it was not their burden to carry but was mine alone.
Once I recognized this, it gave me a new appreciation for everything that I still have in my life. Although, those relationships may now look differently because of my past behavior, I am blessed with the opportunity to react in a more authentic way moving forward. I now also have a few weeks to continue to work on this newfound skill-set uninterrupted by the pressures of daily life.
I recognize that this time can be extremely difficult for all of us. Missing our interactions with other individuals, but instead of focusing on what we may not have currently. Let’s focus on what we are gaining from this time.